Can I Get a Break????

This can go in the books as one of the worst days ever. We know that nothing is ever simple for this girl. In surgery they found a hernia and fixed it. That made the surgery longer. I went to the prayer room. I couldn't stop crying. This poor thing. The other people in there gave me hugs and wished my family he best. I was starting to feel better. I love when people send love my way through text or facebook, but every single one makes me cry. I feel blessed to know this many people care. So here we are with her having trouble breathing and her heart rate up. Yeah I'm scared to death. And for about the 3rd time in her life, I'm past scared. What would I do without her? Why does she have to suffer so much? I've already gotten closer to God to help fix this. I guess he needs me on my toes. I'm so scared. I feel like I could puke. How do nurses look at babies like this? I just need some breathing room. How do I get it? If only she would eat. Why can't she just eat? How am I ever supposed to go to work? Why can't I afford to stay home with her? I can't stop crying. Why isn't she waking up? How much longer will I feel like this?