Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Getting Over What She Can't Do - Part 2
Last night I laid in bed crying after the post I made yesterday. I am really realizing how much I'm going to miss out on. My daughter not being able to talk may not seem like a big deal, but I feel like I will miss out on so much that is going on in the little brain of hers. I will never know what her favorite color or food is. I will never talk about a boy she likes or how her first date went. We will never discuss tv shows or movies. She will never read to me. She will never tell me that she loves me. We will never discuss what she learned in school or at church. She will never be able to tell me who her best friend is. I wonder if the children she grew up with will leave her behind because they can't communicate with her. It makes me cry and I hope that I can get through this stage quickly. There's many stages of denial and when having a special needs child, you can go through them many times. There's many times that I am strong and her delays don't even phase me, but realizing that she might not talk is definitely taking a toll on me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Love you. I really feel for you in this. Not only do you have to grieve what she can't do, but you're in a time of unknown--you don't know yet how things will go for Olivia. That's worse than just having to accept things that are hard. I can see how smart Olivia is, like you can. She understands everyone when they talk to her. And she shows you her preferences without words. (I'm not saying that to minimize the loss of words. Even if she someday talks, you're wishing she was talking to you now, and I know that's difficult.) Grace loves Olivia and doesn't realize yet that Olivia is different. She asked why Olivia uses a walker and I explained that Livy learns to do things more slowly than she does. Just wanted you to know I care how it's going for you.
ReplyDelete