Getting Over the Guilt

Over the weekend Livy fell asleep downstairs and I carried her to bed.  It was really dark in her room and I put her in her crib.  She has a lamp next to her crib that turns on by stepping on the switch.  I was looking for it but it was so dark.  In the meantime, Livy starts screaming. I assumed it was because she was confused about how she got into her crib and wanted out.  When I finally get the light on, I notice that her gtube is missing.  Of course I went into freak out mode.  Doctors said the hole can close up in 20 minutes.  Well that made me realize why she was screaming, it was completely pulled out because I place her on it and when she moved, it was pulled out from inside her stomach.  I find it in her crib and know that I have to put it in myself (hubby was gone).  I was trying to put it in and she was crying and I felt horrible.  I finally get it in and she crawls around like nothing happened.  I then realize that I was supposed to use lube to put it in and that's why I had trouble getting it in.  Since I was in panic mode, I didn't clean it either.  Well she is fine and it took me about 3 days to forgive myself for it.  At least I know what to do differently next time!